


No Home Ahead, No Home to Come Back to

by Trainci



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cad can't make up what he wants, Drabble, Drowning, Gen, I guess it's graphic cause it's drowning, Nicodranas, One last drabble before i sign off for a break feb 2021, ep 35?, i don't wanna take chances, lying, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trainci/pseuds/Trainci
Summary: "Maybe this wasn't the only thing called The MistakeBecause this felt like the worst thing Caduceus did in his life"Spoilers btw!(I'm very aware that the Ship has not been called The Mistake yet, I just thought it'd be a nice reference)
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay & The Mighty Nein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	No Home Ahead, No Home to Come Back to

**Author's Note:**

> Huzzah! I'll see y'all in March with part 6-7 and hopefully some more oneshots and stuff!

\---

Maybe this wasn't the only thing called The Mistake. 

Because this felt like the biggest mistake Caduceus ever made in his life. 

He was forgotten in the heat of battle. Caduceus is frantically pushing through the freezing water of Nicodranas. Swallowing bitter gallons of sea water as he swims after his group. They're yelling for him, Beauregard and Jester holding out their hands like that'd do anything to help him when he's this far behind. 

He pushes on, but he limbs are begin to tire. His lungs burn from coughing, chest painfully taught as his throat and eyes sting just as much. 

A wave crashes over his head and he's beaten downward, not able to catch a breath in time. He's an animal desperately trying to stay afloat. He can barely tell which way is up or down as he's battered down and spun by waves. 

He reaches the surface and gasps. Hair flops in front of his face but he keeps swimming forward with what little strength he has left, blindly as his eyes sting with salt. And something thing grabs him by the collar, painfully ripping him up out of the sea. He doesn't bother to look up, too focused on coughing up water from his lungs. 

Caduceus is thrown up onto a hard wooden floor, scrambling to sit up and throw up what water is left in his lungs. The sun around him turns to shade as people surround him, it's his group. 

Their faces are concerned but whatever words are coming out are going in one ear and out the other. There's something tight around his heart that's constricting, a conflicting mix of emotions he can't put a name to swimming in his brain. 

Fjord pushes him upright, Caduceus meets yellow eyes as he wipes water from his eye. 

"You alright there, Caduceus?" It's a foolish question, really. 

"I'm alright." Cad says through a practiced, plastic smile, though he coughs a little after. "Rough, but alive, I guess." 

"I'm gonna get a towel-" Beau walks off, Jester trailing behind with something akin to worry In her step. 

Fjord still hasn't gotten up from in front of Caduceus, "I'm so sorry that we forgot about - we didn't mean to- we just-" 

Cad grips the hand that's digging into his shoulder and pats it, Fjord let's up enough for Cad to scooch against the wall of the ship. "It's alright, things happen Fjord. Just gotta roll with the punches, yeah?" 

He lets his head fall back and thump against wood, heart calming down in his chest, and he can feel the sting of bitter salt in his mouth and lungs more than ever. 

There's the cold feeling of homesickness, though he really has no home to go back to, and Caduceus feels more conflicted than ever.

Was this even worth it? 

\--


End file.
